Alonement
Introduction
In today's fast-paced world, it's becoming more challenging for many of us to feel comfortable in our own company. Our packed schedules filled with work, school, family and social obligations keep us from having quality time with ourselves. Additionally, technology has a significant role in this trend, as we have constant access to distractions, making it less appealing to spend time in solitude with our thoughts.
This post contains...
🧘🏻 What is alonement
🚗 Why our society struggles at it
⏳ Why we should make time for it
🪙 Final thoughts
🔗 Sources
Term "alonement"
The term alonement comes from Francesca Specter's book "Alonement". This term describes spending time alone, in a positive and intentional way. It refers to the deliberate choice to spend time in solitude, without feeling lonely or isolated.
Unlike loneliness, which is often associated with negative feelings of sadness, isolation, and disconnection, alonement is characterized by feelings of contentment, peace, and self-reflection. It is a state of being comfortable with oneself and one's thoughts, and enjoying the benefits of alone time.
Why our society struggles at it
As social creatures, humans tend to surround themselves with others - colleagues at work, family at home, and friends. Moreover, with the advent of smartphones, social media, and other digital devices, people are always connected, making it challenging to disconnect and spend time alone. Consequently, many people feel uncomfortable or bored when placed in solitary situations and prefer to fill their time with external stimuli, such as watching TV or socializing with friends. Furthermore, some individuals have been taught to ignore negative emotions and let them pass. As a result, when they experience negative emotions, they tend to avoid being alone with them. Lastly, those who rely too heavily on others for emotional support may struggle to manage their own emotions and feel lost or overwhelmed when they are alone, therefore avoiding it at all costs.
Why we should find time for alonement
While spending time with others is essential for our emotional well-being, finding time for alonement is equally important.
In the short-term, avoiding alone time can lead to overstimulation. When we spend all our time surrounded by others, we can become mentally and physically exhausted.
Spending time alone allows us to reflect on our thoughts, emotions, and actions. Avoiding this alone time can result in a lack of self-reflection, where we can contemplate our thoughts, emotions, and actions. It is a crucial time for personal growth and development, and avoiding it can lead to a lack of understanding of oneself. This process allows us to gain perspective and insight into our lives, helping us make better decisions and improve our relationships with others.
Additionally, when individuals avoid spending time alone, they risk becoming overly dependent on others for emotional support, entertainment, and companionship. This dependency can create an imbalance in relationships and lead to feelings of frustration and disappointment.
Alonement is often when our creativity is sparked, and ideas are born. It provides us with the space and quietness needed to let our minds wander, imagine, and innovate. This can lead to fresh perspectives and ideas that we may not have thought of in the presence of others.
Moreover, being alone can help reduce stress and anxiety by providing a break from the constant stimulation and demands of the outside world. This allows us to recharge and relax, helping us to approach our daily tasks with a renewed energy and perspective.
Final thoughts
While it's essential to maintain social connections and interact with others, finding time for alonement is equally important. By deliberately choosing to spend time alone, we can learn to appreciate and enjoy our own company, reflect on our thoughts and emotions, improve our creativity and productivity, and overall happiness. It's important to remember that alonement looks different for everyone, and it's essential to find what works for each person. Whether it's taking a solo walk, reading a book, or simply sitting in silence, making real valuable time for oneself is crucial.
Sources
