Understanding Fear
Pounding heart, sweat, paralyzed vision
Sound familiar? Maybe not always to this extent but don't we all experience fear in our lives?
Whether fear is something you frequently deal with or something more so on the occasional side of experiences, I still think there is no harm in trying to better understand its purpose and general existance. In this post I give you an insight into my current understanding of the matter and additionally share some of my personal coping methods. Let's get started.
Mind killer
Have you heard of the newly released blockbuster Dune by Denis Villeneuve with Timothy Charlamet in the main role? The film is based upon a classic fiction novel by Frank Herbert first published in 1965. Being the good person I am I decided that this time I was actually going to read the book first. What it taught me about fear and how to deal with it deeply resonanted with me and is perfectly summened in the quote down below. Both the main character Paul and his mother Jessica quote this phrase multiple times throughout their journey. Saying it to themselves every time they encounter challenging obstacles it allows them to restore their cool and overcome whatever they are facing even in the darkest and most helpless situations.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
Frank Herbert, Dune
The problem with fear
First of all, there is nothing wrong with fear itself. The problem arises when we don't know how to react to it or misinterpret its meaning. Some would say fear is a natural protection mechanism and I do in parts agree. Fear makes us aware of danger, keeps us catious in critical situations and stops us from unintentionally harming ourselves by doing stupid things. Or does it? Just like fear can protect us it can equally damage us. To note here is that fear is mostly shortterm oriented. Its natural force recommends the path of least resistance. In our modern world we can afford to follow this lead. Because the things we fear usually don't threaten our lives we can afford to turn our backs and look the other way. The consequences? We become dependent of our fears, allow them to limit our abilities to act and as a result sacrifice our possibility to make longterm based decisions ultimately required to create a sustainable and meaningful life. To summarize, fear choses direct feedback over longterm effect. It choses moment over legacy. If we consistantly allow fear to conduct our decisions, we are forced to deal with the limited and fragile construct of a life we are left with.
The fact that you have limitations means that the plot of your life is the overcoming of those limitations.
Jordan B. Peterson
Gateway
In continuing the thoughts from the last paragraph, fear temps us to limit our actions to those focussed on shortterm safety whilst preventing us from investing initial pain, risk and discomfort for a greater longterm output. In consequence, this means fear can also be used as a guide. It is the moments in which we fear that decide our future. It is the difficult moments in which we dread the exposure to pain or destruction that are the gateway to a deeper and richer world of experiences, to a world of limitless potential. And although I get that this must sound incredibly atypical, I do truely believe that the confrontation with what we fear is the key, the portal to a greater life in which we can live free of fear and escape the cage it forces upon us.
Practical Advice
The following are methods I use when confronted with fear. Note that it is not important to master all of them. What is important is to keep practicing.
- Acknowledge it. Make yourself aware of the feeling. Ask yourself in what form the feeling appears, where in your body you experience it, what exactly it feels like and when specifically it came up.
- Identify the enemy. Often when we are afraid of something we don't dare to face the monster hidden in the shadow. This allows it to grow and gives it unnecissary power. Try this instead: Whenever you experience fear, examine the circumstances. Try to immediately find the cause of your fear and specify it in as much detail as possible. In other words, give your fear a face and locate it. This way you know where to point the gun.
- Most importantly, understand that in most cases what we are afraid of can't actually harm us. Without wanting to ridiculize fear, really give this question a thought. What is the worst that could happen?
I have accepted fear as part of life - specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.
Erica Jong
Conclusion
We all fear. Just like birth and death connect us all, fear is also in many ways a guaranteed and inevitable part of the human experience. That being said, it is how we react to the upcoming of it that decides whether it is a good or a bad thing. Allowing fear to dominate means choosing a life lead by it, a life ruled and limited by its opression. Choosing to face our fears on the other hand, resisting our natural desire to avoid things that seem scary means freeing ourselves of these limitations and allowing us to live life to its full potential. I can assure you, I am not a master at this either... not yet. But with each moment of bravery I remove yet another chain tying me to the ground. What life do you choose?
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