The Emptiness Hole

👩‍💻
This post was written by Irene Morales

Introduction

It's a common sight to see people around us feeling down and depressed. The feeling of emptiness has become so normalized that we often accept it as a natural part of life. It's not uncommon to hear people say things like, "I feel empty inside" or "I don't know what I'm doing with my life." It’s ”normal” for a teenager to have no motivation, it’s “normal” to be lost in your 20s and its “normal” to suffer from a midlife crisis. In this blog post, we'll explore the concept of emptiness and how to overcome it.


This post contains…

❗The problem
🌾 How to overcome it
💭 Final thoughts
🔗 Sources


The problem

It’s no secret that as human beings we have feelings. Every action triggers an emotional response and as rational beings we learn to interpret those emotions and with them we go through life the best possible way we can always in search for happiness. The problem comes when we don’t know how to interpret those feelings.
There are times in our lives where we feel lost, we might not know what path to follow or we’re not sure if the path we’re following is the right one. Sometimes we don’t even know we’re lost, we just know that we’re not happy. We feel empty.

So where does this emptiness come from and why is it so common?

As we grow older, depending on how we were raised and how we interact with the world around us, we unconsciously establish core values that guide our personal interpretation of those emotional triggers mentioned earlier. When we follow a path that doesn't align with those values, we don't feel fulfilled.

The problem is that we're often taught that achieving success and material possessions is the path to happiness. And while this doesn’t mean that this is the wrong path, we need to question if it’s the one for us. Some people are happy going to university, finding a job, getting married, having kids… Some people, if they follow the traditional path, will never truly be satisfied because it doesn’t align with their values and what truly makes them happy in life.

Therefore, understanding our values and what truly matters to us is crucial in overcoming the feeling of emptiness.


How to over come it

Understand your feelings

The first step to overcoming emptiness is to understand and acknowledge your feelings. You need to recognize the emotions that you're experiencing and where they're coming from. Sometimes, we feel empty because we are not living up to our expectations, or we are not following our true desires. Other times, we feel empty because we are not in a good place mentally or emotionally. Ask yourself questions like, "What am I feeling right now?" and "Why am I feeling this way?" Try to be honest with yourself and avoid brushing them aside or ignoring them.
Once you identify what is causing you to feel empty, you can start to take steps to address it. For example, if you are not following your true desires, you may need to reassess your goals and figure out what you really want in life.

Establish your core values

As mentioned earlier, our core values guide our interpretation of emotional triggers. Therefore, it's essential to identify and establish your core values. Ask yourself questions like, "What are my most important values?" and "What do I stand for?" Think about what is important to you in life, and what you want to achieve. Write these values down and keep them in mind as you go through your daily life.

Some examples might be the following:
Honesty
Integrity
Wisdom
Autonomy
Loyalty
Kindness
Charity
Respect
Trust
Affection
Deep Connections
Patience
Self-Development
Achievement
Transparency
Friendship
Consciousness
Conformity
Non-Conformity
Experimentation
Peace of Mind

Find purpose aligned with your values

Once you have established your core values, you need to find a purpose that aligns with them. This can be anything from a career, a hobby, or a volunteer opportunity. It is important that this purpose gives you a sense of fulfillment and aligns with your core values.

For example, if your core values include helping others, then volunteering at a local shelter or charity organization may give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment. If your core values include creativity, then pursuing a creative hobby or career may be the right path for you.

Remind yourself what is important to you

Lastly, it's important to remind yourself what is important to you. Whenever you feel lost or directionless, remind yourself of your core values and the purpose you've identified for yourself.


Final thoughts

Emptiness is not an inherent part of life, but rather a result of a mismatch between our values and the path we're following. It's important to understand and process our negative emotions, rather than accepting them as a normal part of life. By taking steps to identify our core values and find purpose aligned with them, we can overcome emptiness and live a more fulfilling life. Remember, it's okay to feel lost or unfulfilled at times, but it's important to take action to find our way back to what truly matters to us.


Sources

How To Determine Your Core Life Values
Do you know what your values are? Your values serve as the building blocks for the type of life that you want to create. If you don’t know who you are and wh…
Core Values List: The Only 216 Values You’ll Ever Need
Core values are the fundamental principles that drive a person’s life or an organization. Use this list and guide to define yours.